diff --git a/bin/gitea b/bin/gitea
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+#!/usr/bin/env bash
+# gitea — your friendly neighborhood Gitea CLI
+# It creates repos. It pushes code. It occasionally judges your commit messages.
+# Usage: gitea <command> [options]
+
+set -euo pipefail
+
+cmd_help() {
+  cat <<'EOF'
+gitea — your friendly neighborhood Gitea CLI
+
+Usage: gitea <command> [options]
+
+Commands:
+  create <name> [--private] [--description "..."]   Bring a new repo into this world
+  remote <name>                                      Wire up git origin with token auth
+  push                                               Yeet current branch to origin
+  delete <name>                                      Send a repo into the void (confirms first)
+  list                                               Show your repos (sorted by last updated)
+
+Examples:
+  gitea create my-project --private --description "Top secret stuff"
+  gitea remote my-project
+  gitea push
+
+Config files (~/.config/gitea/):
+  token      Your API token (required)
+  username   Your Gitea username (required)
+  host       Gitea host override (default: git.sethpc.xyz)
+
+First time? Run /gitea-setup in Claude Code to get started.
+EOF
+}
+
+# Short-circuit help/unknown before loading config
+case "${1:-help}" in
+  help|--help|-h) cmd_help; exit 0 ;;
+  create|remote|push|delete|list|ls) ;;
+  *) echo "Unknown command: $1 (try 'gitea help' — I promise it's helpful)" >&2; exit 1 ;;
+esac
+
+# --- Config ---
+GITEA_HOST="git.sethpc.xyz"
+if [[ -f "$HOME/.config/gitea/host" ]]; then
+  GITEA_HOST="$(< "$HOME/.config/gitea/host")"
+  GITEA_HOST="${GITEA_HOST%%[[:space:]]}"
+fi
+
+GITEA_USER=""
+if [[ -f "$HOME/.config/gitea/username" ]]; then
+  GITEA_USER="$(< "$HOME/.config/gitea/username")"
+  GITEA_USER="${GITEA_USER%%[[:space:]]}"
+fi
+[[ -z "$GITEA_USER" ]] && { echo "ERROR: No username found. Run /gitea-setup or put your username in ~/.config/gitea/username" >&2; exit 1; }
+
+GITEA_TOKEN="${GITEA_TOKEN:-}"
+if [[ -z "$GITEA_TOKEN" && -f "$HOME/.config/gitea/token" ]]; then
+  GITEA_TOKEN="$(< "$HOME/.config/gitea/token")"
+  GITEA_TOKEN="${GITEA_TOKEN%%[[:space:]]}"
+fi
+[[ -z "$GITEA_TOKEN" ]] && { echo "ERROR: No token found. Run /gitea-setup or put your token in ~/.config/gitea/token" >&2; exit 1; }
+
+API_BASE="https://${GITEA_HOST}/api/v1"
+
+# --- Helpers ---
+api() {
+  local method="$1" endpoint="$2"
+  shift 2
+  curl -sf -X "$method" "${API_BASE}${endpoint}" \
+    -H "Content-Type: application/json" \
+    -H "Authorization: token ${GITEA_TOKEN}" \
+    "$@"
+}
+
+# --- Commands ---
+cmd_create() {
+  local name="" private=false description=""
+  while [[ $# -gt 0 ]]; do
+    case "$1" in
+      --private|-p)  private=true; shift ;;
+      --public)      private=false; shift ;;
+      --description|-d) description="$2"; shift 2 ;;
+      -*) echo "Unknown option: $1 (I don't know what that means and I'm too proud to guess)" >&2; exit 1 ;;
+      *)  name="$1"; shift ;;
+    esac
+  done
+  [[ -z "$name" ]] && { echo "Usage: gitea create <name> [--private] [--description \"...\"]"; echo "  (You forgot the name. The repo needs a name. We all need names.)" >&2; exit 1; }
+
+  local payload
+  payload=$(jq -n \
+    --arg name "$name" \
+    --argjson private "$private" \
+    --arg desc "$description" \
+    '{name: $name, private: $private, description: $desc, auto_init: false}')
+
+  local resp
+  resp=$(api POST "/user/repos" -d "$payload") || { echo "FAIL: Gitea said no. Check your token and network." >&2; exit 1; }
+
+  local html_url
+  html_url=$(echo "$resp" | jq -r '.html_url')
+  echo "Created: ${html_url}"
+  echo "Clone:   https://${GITEA_HOST}/${GITEA_USER}/${name}.git"
+  echo ""
+  echo "Next up: 'gitea remote ${name}' to wire up your origin. You know the drill."
+}
+
+cmd_remote() {
+  local name="${1:-}"
+  [[ -z "$name" ]] && { echo "Usage: gitea remote <repo-name>"; echo "  (Which repo? I can't read minds. Yet.)" >&2; exit 1; }
+
+  local url="https://${GITEA_HOST}/${GITEA_USER}/${name}.git"
+
+  git config credential.helper 'store'
+  local cred_file="${HOME}/.git-credentials"
+  local cred_entry="https://${GITEA_USER}:${GITEA_TOKEN}@${GITEA_HOST}"
+  if ! grep -qF "${GITEA_HOST}" "$cred_file" 2>/dev/null; then
+    echo "$cred_entry" >> "$cred_file"
+    chmod 600 "$cred_file"
+  fi
+
+  if git remote get-url origin &>/dev/null; then
+    git remote set-url origin "$url"
+    echo "Updated origin -> ${url}"
+  else
+    git remote add origin "$url"
+    echo "Added origin -> ${url}"
+  fi
+  echo "You're locked and loaded. 'gitea push' when ready."
+}
+
+cmd_push() {
+  local branch
+  branch=$(git rev-parse --abbrev-ref HEAD 2>/dev/null) || { echo "This isn't a git repo. I checked." >&2; exit 1; }
+  echo "Pushing ${branch} to origin... hold onto your bits."
+  git push -u origin "$branch"
+}
+
+cmd_delete() {
+  local name="${1:-}"
+  [[ -z "$name" ]] && { echo "Usage: gitea delete <repo-name>"; echo "  (Delete what? Be specific. Destruction requires precision.)" >&2; exit 1; }
+
+  read -rp "Delete ${GITEA_USER}/${name}? This is permanent. No take-backs. [y/N] " confirm
+  [[ "$confirm" =~ ^[Yy]$ ]] || { echo "Crisis averted. Repo lives another day."; exit 0; }
+
+  if api DELETE "/repos/${GITEA_USER}/${name}"; then
+    echo "Deleted: ${GITEA_USER}/${name}. It's gone. Pour one out."
+  else
+    echo "FAIL: Could not delete ${GITEA_USER}/${name}. Maybe it's already gone? Maybe it's fighting back?" >&2; exit 1
+  fi
+}
+
+cmd_list() {
+  local resp
+  resp=$(api GET "/user/repos?limit=50&sort=updated") || { echo "FAIL: Couldn't fetch repos. Is Gitea awake?" >&2; exit 1; }
+  echo "$resp" | jq -r '.[] | "\(.name)\t\(if .private then "private" else "public" end)\t\(.description // "")"' | column -t -s$'\t'
+}
+
+case "${1:-help}" in
+  create) shift; cmd_create "$@" ;;
+  remote) shift; cmd_remote "$@" ;;
+  push)   shift; cmd_push "$@" ;;
+  delete) shift; cmd_delete "$@" ;;
+  list|ls) shift; cmd_list "$@" ;;
+esac